A FEW THINGS I THOUGHT WOULD BE THE CASE THAT ARE NOT ACTUALLY THE CASE

1. I thought that teaching would be tiring, that when school let out at 2:15 I would crave nothing more than my bed. I was wrong. Teaching is not very tiring. Yes, waking up at 5:00 to be at school by 6:00 requires some sort of chemical stimulant (sidenote: almond milk in coffee is delicious) and bouncing around a classroom in heels for seven hours is hard on the stems, but the teaching itself isn't so hard. It's the planning that absolutely blows. From the time I get home to the time I collapse into bed, I am frantically trying to teach myself the material and come up with interesting ways to present it. There are times, usually post-dinner, when I realize that I have no idea what I'm going to say in front of 87 students the next day and I am filled with panic. If someone handed me the material, I would gladly teach from sunup until sundown. It's the planning that kills me.

2. I thought that the weekends would feel fabulous. I was wrong. Friday afternoons and evenings feel fabulous. Saturdays feel fabulous. Sundays, however, initially took the name "Sunday No Funday." Now we call them "Sunday I Need a Gunday." Sundays are when you realize that there are five full days of school stretched out before you and you are not in any way prepared for any of them. Sundays are all about impending doom.

3. I thought I would care if my kids liked me or not. I was wrong. I care very much that they respect me, but I don't give a damn if they think I'm cool. In fact, I've gone out of my way to seem as old and dowdy as possible. I tell them I'm 48 and that I'm way too old to have heard of Waka Flocka Flame (the latter being 100% true). A lot of them seem to like me anyway, which I'm constantly surprised by, considering how incredibly boring some of my lessons are.

4. I thought I would really struggle teaching a subject I know nothing about. I was wrong. It would definitely be a lot easier if I didn't have to do a lot of research, but it turns out that 80% of my energy is devoted to policing behavior. The other 20% is actually teaching earth and environmental science. This is probably really problematic and one of the many reasons my school is not as high achieving as Sycamore High School, but. Eh. Rollin' with it.

5. I thought I would have time to eat. I was wrong.

YOU ARE WORTH HUNDREDS OF SPARROWS

Things I found today while searching for other things:

01. One Polaroid postcard in Thus Spoke Zarathustra
02. One photograph of me and Greg in As I Lay Dying
03. Two photographs from my Portland pen-pal in The Essential Rumi
04. Two love letters in Diving for Sunken Treasure
05. Twelve photographs of my family in The Elegant Universe

So rare, these days, to find photographs and letters hiding in books. Let's do that more often.




On one hand, today was perfectly sunny and lovely. On the other hand, three years ago Alex and I talked about how it was only a matter of time before Mark Linkous killed himself and today he went and did it.

WE LIKE LISTS BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT TO DIE

SPIEGEL: You include a nice list by the French philosopher Roland Barthes in your new book, "The Vertigo of Lists." He lists the things he loves and the things he doesn't love. He loves salad, cinnamon, cheese and spices. He doesn't love bikers, women in long pants, geraniums, strawberries and the harpsichord. What about you?

Eco: I would be a fool to answer that; it would mean pinning myself down. I was fascinated with Stendhal at 13 and with Thomas Mann at 15 and, at 16, I loved Chopin. Then I spent my life getting to know the rest. Right now, Chopin is at the very top once again. If you interact with things in your life, everything is constantly changing. And if nothing changes, you're an idiot.

--Susan Beyer and Lothar Gorris, Interview with Umberto Eco (via Luke's Commonplace)

A BAKER'S DOZEN OF :)

01. Submitting that stupid application
02. Seeing UCB perform
03. Hangin' with friends (and UCB) till the wee hours
04. Making cinnamon buns at 3 am
05. Not going to class the next day
06. Ginkgo fights
07. An airing of grievances
08. Growth
09. You've got to be kidding me with this weather, it is too perfect
10. I am a statistics genius
11. Reading outside with Justin and a Dixie cup full of M&Ms
12. A car full of my loved ones, belting out Matchbox 20 songs
13. Everything about last night

HOW DO YOU CREATE ILLUMINATION AND AN ECSTACY OF TRUTH?

8. Related, but more practical subjects, will be the art of lockpicking. Traveling on foot. The exhilaration of being shot at unsuccessfully. The athletic side of filmmaking. The creation of your own shooting permits. The neutralization of bureaucracy. Guerrilla tactics. Self reliance.

9. Censorship will be enforced. There will be no talk of shamans, of yoga classes, nutritional values, herbal teas, discovering your Boundaries, and Inner Growth.

10. Related, but more reflective, will be a reading list: if possible, read Virgil's "Georgics", read "Hemingway's "The short happy life of Francis Macomber", The Poetic Edda, translated by Lee M. Hollander (in particular the Prophecy of the Seeress), Bernal Diaz del Castillo "True History of the Conquest of New Spain".

11. Follow your vision. Form secretive Rogue Cells everywhere. At the same time, be not afraid of solitude.

--About Werner's Herzog's Rogue Film School via Chris

TODAY I GOT MY THOROUGHEST GIRL WITH ME

Highly recommended:

01. Chambray (see 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5)
02. Figs from the tree in my aunt and uncle's backyard
03. Missy Elliott
04. Jay-Z
05. '03 Bonnie and Clyde (middle school memories)
06. Re-watching Bottle Rocket
07. A whistling puppy
08. OPI's "cab fare"
09. Anything yellow, really
10. The Salvation Army on 22nd and Market
11. Profi's Creperie
12. Stefanie Posavec's first chapters
13. Getting a ton of sleep

LINK DUMP

01. Now you understand time travel
02. Harrison Ford just wants his family
03. Change we can believe in
04. All the single ladies
05. Andrew WK, meteorologist
06. Men, please buy this coat
07. Always seeking
08. Do me
09. What is he chewing on? What's happening? Whose cat is that?
10. Do me pt. 2

:D :D :D :D :D :D!

Yesterday afternoon, my cubicle-mate and fellow intern mentioned in an offhand manner that she really wanted to go to Pitchfork. Fast forward through twenty-four hours of frantic Ebay and Craigslist scouring to us buying plane tickets to Chicago. My face is stuck in a permanent smile.

This means that:
01. I get to see my FRIENDS, holy YES!
1.5. I also get to see friends that I've lost contact with over the years--for various reasons. This is probably a good thing.
02. Several "must see before I die/they break up" dreams are going to be fulfilled.
03. I've made a friend in Philadelphia. We are going on a trip together.
04. I have little to no money.


Killing four birds with one spectacular stone. I've been in the best mood today.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT NOTHIN TO SAY ABOUT A 40 DEGREE DAY

To ensure that I do not have a repeat of yesterday:

01. Turn off the Food Network.
02. Pay for a library card, pick up some GRE books.
03. Make use of the GRE books. Just in case.
04. Infinite summer!
05. Sign up for Couchsurfing.
06. Read.
07. Take advantage of free yoga classes for first-timers.
08. And Netflix.
09. And phone calls.
10. Lose the self-pity.