EXISTENTIAL DREAD ON THE PLAYGROUND

Elliot: Living. It is so hard.
My mom: What do you think would be easier? Non-living?
Elliot: Oh, I don't know. Maybe being a turtle. Or a bug.
Mom: Yes, that might be easier. but then you would miss your family and friends. Would you like to take your shoes off now?
Elliot: [sighing deeply] I've forgotten how to bend.

--Conversation between my mom and Elliot (b. 2005)