But I don't have to know an answer. I don't feel frightened by not knowing things, by being lost in the mysterious universe without having any purpose--which is the way it really is, as far as I can tell. It doesn't frighten me.

--Richard Feynman

BEHOLD, THE NEW JERUSALEM!

But make no mistake: Change is a motherfucker when you run from it. And right now, the conservative movement in America is fleeing from dramatic change that is certain and immutable. A man of color is president for the second time, and this happened despite a struggling economic climate and a national spirit of general discontent. He has been returned to office over the specific objections of the mass of white men. He has instead been re-elected by women, by people of color, by homosexuals, by people of varying religions or no religion whatsoever. Behold the New Jerusalem. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a white man, of course. There’s nothing wrong with being anything. That’s the point.

--David Simon, Inevitabilities and Barack Obama

SUM SUM SUMMA TIME

I've been doing the same for almost a full week now.

If you were wandering around Chapel Hill yesterday, you may have happened upon this scene: a bride whose cape tickled the grass; a groom surrounded by his tuxedoed, dancing daughters; an audience timidly singing along with Stevie Wonder, then timidly swaying along to the beat of tribal drums; beakers turned centerpieces; a girl's mouth flying open in wonder when the magician made foam balls multiply in her hands; and shivering guests viewing the smudge of star clusters through telescopes.

If you had wandered down the path towards the gazebo, you would have seen two friends who hadn't seen each other since another wedding, talking as if nothing (and everything) had changed. Feeling so old and so young at the same time.

SUMMER IN THE SOUTHEAST

I am so lazy! I am so free! I am so happy!

SAVANNAH, GEORGIA

Spring break, yo!

KNOW BETTER LEARN FASTER

Okay so I know that there are things that need to be done, phone calls that need to be made, loans that need to be figured out, insurance that needs to be taken care of--

But on Friday I wore shorts and we started early so that on Saturday we could wake up early and play Angry Birds until it was time for breakfast (outside in the sunshine) then watch Attack of the Clones (awful, so so awful) and sort of do work until it was time for BBQ and beer, outside with my favorite people in this city, until we pass out exhausted and wake up to watch Revenge of the Sith (better, so much better!) and do lackadaisical work once again.

38 days until spring break, 67 days till finals. Not bad, not bad.

Check it--

66° and sunny out. Don't have to go to work tomorrow or Tuesday. Finished the second Hunger Games yesterday and will probably finish the third today. Had a great time last night. Wearing a pretty dress, straight from Sri Lanka (still smells like lime pickle). Feelin' good about things.

HEART SKIPPED A BEAT

Seeing The xx blew my simple mind to pieces last night. I left the show to news of a Duke victory and biked home after a brief and violent spring thunderstorm left everything smelling clean and delicious. And waiting for me on the kitchen table--a gift from a faraway friend.

Everything is so good.

FATHER INTO YOUR HANDS, I COMMEND MY SPIRIT

Three years ago, Sarah, John, and I subleased an incredibly filthy apartment. It was The Summer of 2P4C (also known as The Best Summer of My Life) and we lazed the days away, scrounging up money for booze and cigarettes, surviving on coffee (free for me because I worked at Caribou) and hummus (free for Sarah because she worked at Leen-O). Sometimes, Sarah and I would pull away from our books and bike rides to assess our swamp of an apartment, but the task of cleaning always felt too overwhelming. And so, a solution: drink enough wine before noon and no bathtub is too gross to scrub. A side effect of this cleaning strategy was the discovery that dancing to System of a Down's Chop Suey and Panjabi MC's Mundian To Bach Ke is, by far, the most fun kind of dancing--a revelation we were sure to share with the rest of our friends.

It's become something of a tradition--if you put me or Sarah near an iPod and you can be damn sure one or both of those songs will be played. And the great thing is that everyone (I hope? There are probably some who roll their eyes and wait for another MIA song) joins the fun, so it's just a bunch of people I love belting out terrible lyrics and shaking their hips. This weekend we resurrected the tradition, wine and all, and for the first time I felt pangs of "I'm really going to miss this next year."

But that's how it goes, yeah?

This is a key to chez MMBJ and the kindest gift I could ever receive. Two days in, pretty lovely so far. I am a happy, lucky person.

Wine, pomegranate, and a jigsaw puzzle, but I cannot keep staying awake until six or seven in the morning.

I want to stress that making grilled cheese, then awarding yourselves medals for making great grilled cheese (we are pretty generous with our awards), then drinking wine and sitting in the dark while remembering every word of Give Up even though you haven't listened to it in five years all makes for a pretty spectacular night.

A BAKER'S DOZEN OF :)

01. Submitting that stupid application
02. Seeing UCB perform
03. Hangin' with friends (and UCB) till the wee hours
04. Making cinnamon buns at 3 am
05. Not going to class the next day
06. Ginkgo fights
07. An airing of grievances
08. Growth
09. You've got to be kidding me with this weather, it is too perfect
10. I am a statistics genius
11. Reading outside with Justin and a Dixie cup full of M&Ms
12. A car full of my loved ones, belting out Matchbox 20 songs
13. Everything about last night

AUTUMNFEST09 PART III

We drove to Hocking Hills on square tires, watching the trees explode and relating the tale of Urgan Nagru through mouthfuls of Almond Joy. Once there, we closed our eyes and lost our balance while our toes grew numb at Old Man's Cave. In Aunt Beth's cabin we thawed by the fire with warm food and warm dogs at hand. On our way home, on the blackest of black roads we stopped the car and trampled over fallow fields until we reached the center of the universe--and then we looked up.

CS598 NOTES

I love my major.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO STUDY TO GET STRAIGHT A'S

Our family Thanksgiving dinner is going to be Redwall-themed. Our study parties devolve into superfluous Facebook activity. We just get so excited! About Narnia, about Redwall, about meadowcream and scones and strawberry fizz. Brady Stag Hare, Martin the Warrior, Justin Vorbeak, Samkim--we make a good team. I am a lucky lady.

AUTUMNFEST09 PART I

Courtesy of Ian!

On the last day of summer we hosted our first guests, then Dan and Christina introduced me to my neighbors. Drinks were made and a telescope was set up. There were kittens. There were some moons of Jupiter. I was happy.

THINK I MIGHT BLOG IT

So last night was like, 100% smiles times. All of my loved ones in one place! Even walking all the way home in late summer rain felt oddly delightful. I threw my waterlogged clothes in the bathtub and woke up this morning with absurd curls, only to find that Brady's hair outshone my own:


ZAS much?